Purses and Hubcaps

The other day as we stopped at an intersection an older compact vehicle drove through with unmatched hubcaps. 

“Did you see that car?”  I asked my husband who was looking in the other direction.  “It had two different kinds of hubcaps.” My husband who had just gotten a green light almost braked again as he glanced at me in astonishment.  

“What?”  he asked incredulously. 

“Well, that car that you just missed seeing had plain round hubcaps in the back but more spiky ones in the front,”  I explained.  “It sure looked goofy.”

“Why, honey,”  he said delightedly, “You’re actually starting to notice wheels!  That’s wonderful!”  

“Don’t get too excited about it,” I murmured. 

This has been a longstanding bone of contention in our marriage that he likes wheels and I----don’t.  Every vehicle we have ever bought has generated long discussions about its current wheels and much longer online researching to find new ones.  I can understand why tires need to be replaced, but perfectly good wheels??  

First off, it took a while to figure out that wheels are not equal to ‘hubcaps’.  Remember the days when you drove up the main street in town and someone would have carefully placed a lone hubcap beside the road in case the owner came looking for it?  Well, here’s the difference.  Wheels are on the tires just like the former hubcaps, but you won’t find them lying haplessly beside the road (without the rest of the car)  because they are solidly attached to the rims and can’t just come flying off without causing a terrific accident. 

My husband has tried to explain this to me many, many times, but it wasn’t until I noticed the mismatched ‘hubcaps’ (that were actually wheels) that I began to study the wheels of cars in the Superstore parking lot.   I realized that all tires have wheels of many different shapes.  These are bolted on with the bolts clearly visible.  In the past the hubcaps were the decoration that covered the bolts.  Now it is a thing of pride to know and show what your ‘bolt pattern’ is.  Besides the bolt pattern, a tire can have any kind of metal shape in its center. 

Sometimes the metal is a flashy chrome with dangerous spikes, or layers of spokes that whirl hypnotically, or the understated elegance of the classic star shape.  These can be quite interesting and quite expensive!  

When a car looks like it has lost its hubcap then you are looking at the ‘coolest’ wheel of today---simple black.  I think it’s really just a cheap shot at covering up unsightly chrome that has lost its finish.  It gets roughed up and repainted with black matte paint and voila!   A star is born! 

So this is how I try to understand the wheel enthusiasm of some men.  If you are a woman who loves accessories, you will go to the Gucci store and by the hottest bag in the window, or you will find the highest heels or the glitziest watch.  On the other hand, you might feel the most dressed up in the understated elegance of your ‘little black dress’.  These are ‘wheels’ for the woman of fashion.  Quite interesting and quite expensive, but necessary?   Not according to my husband!   

Gems at the Show

The biggest car show in the Fraser Valley happens in Langley on the 1^st weekend after Labour Day.  It is of such note that even the Queen makes an appearance to welcome us.  Her ‘bobble’ wave is adorable. I tell myself that if she can do this show then I can too.

                                               But first and foremost, there must be color! 

           

                                                 

And there is! 

This is what I love about classic cars.  There is a delightful use of color…sometimes its original and sometimes it’s ‘poetic license’. 

                                  

 

A design feature I learned about at this show was 1930's ‘Art Deco’.  This style from the depression era included the use of geometric shapes presented in stepped and repetitive patterns. 

Chrome is another feature that was highly visible in the past.  Unfortunately chrome has fallen out of favor with current manufacturers and so classic car collectors have revolted with their lavish use of chrome.  Even the unseen engine can be entirely chromed at great cost and effort.  All metal parts of the engine including supporting braces are removed and chromed and then returned into their place. 

 

An example of non-chromed engine.

                                                               A chromed engine.

Interestingly enough, a new trend in restoring cars is creating not just vintage cars but also a vintage finish.  It’s called ‘patina’.  Some of these cars have been restored and then artifically aged to match the shabby chic furniture in many homes today.                

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    But still, the exotic and very rare Auburn of 1929 received the most attention.  Its unique boat tail, and jumbo head lights speak of wealth, luxury, and Hollywood.  What a contrast to the classics dressed in patina.

   

        

                                  

Other contrasts also caught my eye. Such as the 1960’s Corvette engine sitting in a 1929 Ford.  Really?   If restored cars are evaluated for their ‘original’ condition then how is this authentic?  I ask you, does this Ford deserve its "collectors" license plate?

Then there is the surprise reversal in fortunes between the ’55 Pontiac and ’55 Chevy.  The Pontiac was a luxury car with deluxe trim and interior and definitely more expensive to buy than the chevy.  And yet today, the ’55 chevy is worth twice the Pontiac and in much greater demand.  This favor exists in spite of the abundance of chevy’s and the rarity of Pontiacs. 

My favorite item at this show was not a car but a trailer.  Made for two (with a little squeezing) it was perfect with a sound system and TV tucked above the bed and a kitchenette on the outside.  Now that’s roughing it in a gentle kind of way.  

                                                Hey diddle dee dee, the open road for me!             

Classic Car Primer

I have finally decided to join the spattering of women folk who trail resignedly behind their husbands trying to enter into their unbridled enthusiasm for all things car!!!   I like cars for their heated seats, CD players, friendly GPS voices, and other necessary luxuries.  I think they could have a lot more interesting color on them such as polka dots, plaids, stripes, nature scenes, animal prints, and hey, what about family photos??

For women, design consists of shape AND color.  The three main colors in the modern motor world of white, black, and silver are, in a word---boring!  The only way I can identify a friend’s vehicle is if it is an interesting color.  For example, my friend Ev inherited a grey van that was largely unremarkable.  She was given a brief description of it as she went to pick it up from the parkade.

“Its got turquoise on it,”  her mother said.  With much searching she finally found the gray van with its tiny turquoise pin-stripe. 

“The whole time I was looking for a turquoise van,”  Ev remarked rolling her eyes.

Since hearing that story, I have no trouble identifying the grey van with turquoise on it.  I can spot it a mile away.  But tell me that my sister bought a new white Lexus SUV and I won’t recognize it even if its sitting in my driveway.  You lost me at the color white!  

So, in short, car shows are mainly interesting for their color.  When my husband discovered my automotive illiteracy he took pity on me and began to instruct me (very slowly and repetitively) on automobiles. So here's the Automotive Primer (or "Cars for Dummies") according to Harry:

A

Early automobiles were very simple--open to the elements with spokes in their wheels.  (I guess they were not much more than glorified bicycles.)

B
Then came the 1920's with a square boxy look.  Headlights were mounted beside the front grill looking like oogly insects and windshields were flat and square.  

C
By the '30s the spokes were gone, fenders were high and round, and the front grill was becoming a little more aerodynamic.  Towards the end of the decade the headlights were incorporated into the fenders.  

D
The 40's were perhaps the most ostentatious car designs with big fat curves everywhere declaring that the 'dirty thirties' were over.

However, the  '47 Shoebox was the very first car to foreshadow an entirely new look.  Subdued curves made it appear smaller and more aerodynamic.

E
By the 1950's the space age had arrived and cars mimicked it with rocket-shaped lights and huge fins at the back to resemble wings.

F
The late 50's began to tone down the elaborate designs preparing for the decade of Muscle Cars. Favorites were the 1964 Ford Mustang, the '67 Chevy Camaro, and the '68 Plymouth Road Runner.  Our favorite is a blue '69 Chevelle convertible!

G
Sadly, the muscle cars fell out of favor in the '70s as governments tackled the energy crisis and imposed regulations on carbon emissions.  Compact cars appeared on the scene in the shape of VW's, datsuns, toyotas, pintos and gremlins.  

My 1973 Ford comet was perfect for a new, broke school teacher!

After getting married I drove my husband 's 1977 Z28 Camaro which made me a much cooler teacher!

H
Cars in the 1980's were underpowered, smaller and well, boring.  We did our best to look 'stylin' with our new family car--a two door 1983 Monte Carlo.

Classic car shows are like going to a thrift store where everything is old and used!   However, in contrast to the clutter of other people's junk is the beautiful restoration of history in the redemption of an amazing classic car.