Sunday, August 21, 2016

Classic Car Primer







I have finally decided to join the spattering of women folk who trail resignedly behind their husbands trying to enter into their unbridled enthusiasm for all things car!!!   I like cars for their heated seats, CD players, friendly GPS voices, and other necessary luxuries.  I think they could have a lot more interesting color on them such as polka dots, plaids, stripes, nature scenes, animal prints, and hey, what about family photos??

For women, design consists of shape AND color.  The three main colors in the modern motor world of white, black, and silver are, in a word---boring!  The only way I can identify a friend’s vehicle is if it is an interesting color.  For example, my friend Ev inherited a grey van that was largely unremarkable.  She was given a brief description of it as she went to pick it up from the parkade.

“Its got turquoise on it,”  her mother said.  With much searching she finally found the gray van with its tiny turquoise pin-stripe. 

“The whole time I was looking for a turquoise van,”  Ev remarked rolling her eyes.

Since hearing that story, I have no trouble identifying the grey van with turquoise on it.  I can spot it a mile away.  But tell me that my sister bought a new white Lexus SUV and I won’t recognize it even if its sitting in my driveway.  You lost me at the color white!  

So, in short, car shows are mainly interesting for their color.  When my husband discovered my automotive illiteracy he took pity on me and began to instruct me (very slowly and repetitively) on automobiles. So here's the Automotive Primer (or "Cars for Dummies") according to Harry:



A
Early automobiles were very simple--open to the elements with spokes in their wheels.  (I guess they were not much more than glorified bicycles.)


B
Then came the 1920's with a square boxy look.  Headlights were mounted beside the front grill looking like oogly insects and windshields were flat and square.  



C
By the '30s the spokes were gone, fenders were high and round, and the front grill was becoming a little more aerodynamic.  Towards the end of the decade the headlights were incorporated into the fenders.  




D
The 40's were perhaps the most ostentatious car designs with big fat curves everywhere declaring that the 'dirty thirties' were over.

However, the  '47 Shoebox was the very first car to foreshadow an entirely new look.  Subdued curves made it appear smaller and more aerodynamic.



E
By the 1950's the space age had arrived and cars mimicked it with rocket-shaped lights and huge fins at the back to resemble wings.



F
The late 50's began to tone down the elaborate designs preparing for the decade of Muscle Cars. Favorites were the 1964 Ford Mustang, the '67 Chevy Camaro, and the '68 Plymouth Road Runner.  Our favorite is a blue '69 Chevelle convertible!



G
Sadly, the muscle cars fell out of favor in the '70s as governments tackled the energy crisis and imposed regulations on carbon emissions.  Compact cars appeared on the scene in the shape of VW's, datsuns, toyotas, pintos and gremlins.  


My 1973 Ford comet was perfect for a new, broke school teacher!


After getting married I drove my husband 's 1977 Z28 Camaro which made me a much cooler teacher!

H
Cars in the 1980's were underpowered, smaller and well, boring.  We did our best to look 'stylin' with our new family car--a two door 1983 Monte Carlo.



Classic car shows are like going to a thrift store where everything is old and used!   However, in contrast to the clutter of other people's junk is the beautiful restoration of history in the redemption of an amazing classic car.